For years I have had this vision of Dez and I standing around an island bench, with three kids with us. Missy, Audrey and there was this boy with a kind soul. A Mumma’s boy.
Internally I knew I wanted this. I was always going to meet this little boy. But… my limiting beliefs had me believe that I couldn’t fall pregnant again (after it took 14 months with Audrey) and after trying on and off for the better part of 2 years for No. 3 – I gave up.
About 2 years ago, I went to visit a psychic. A card reader. I kept pulling this ‘boy’ card. She said, it’s going to happen. I also kept pulling the ‘abundance’ card and she told me the next 5 years I could have anything I wished for. So I wished for my boy.
After 2.5 years of trying, we finally fell pregnant.
I knew it as soon as we conceived. I had this vivid dream that I was in (yep, IN!) my fallopian tubes and I watched the sperm go into the egg. Sounds fucking weird now that I’m saying it out loud. But I knew, as soon as it happened. I knew.
I actually couldn’t believe it. I thought I was baron. Well at least, that is what I self diagnosed myself with. But here I was, sitting in a caravan park in Adelaide after shooting a wedding. I’d gone to the pharmacy on the way home to grab a pregnancy test, pee’d on the stick and waited in the toilet alone. I didn’t even tell Dez, I didn’t want to disappoint him if it was negative. But nope… two lines!
The pregnancy was tough, and there there was the whole global pandemic and the restrictions that came with it. But we have our boy, Rafferty.
His name is just one that I always loved, and it wasn’t until after he was born that I looked up the meaning. You won’t believe it.
It was in the cards this whole time!
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