I sit here on the couch on my second full kid-free day of maternity leave, and I’m so lost.
I’ve just spent 10 weeks in isolation with my family, craving this alone time. And now I have it. Why aren’t I enjoying it?
I guess there are so many facets to where I am at right now:
I’ve adapted and transitioned quite well with everything that has been thrown my way. I am the person in the family that everyone relies on to make the decisions and get things done. I’ve made sure everyone else is OK and happy and not too anxious with the mammoth changes that have been happening. But now that they are all out of the house, I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s emotions. And I guess that’s why mine are flooding in.
So here I am, with 6 hours in front of me and no plans. Unheard of. Scary as fuck. I don’t like it.
What I would like to do though, is start focusing on this baby. We tried for almost 3 years to fall pregnant, and I don’t feel as though I’ve had a chance to think about the poor little bugger for awhile. He/She’s been there, kicking away, nice and healthy. But I haven’t been able to give them the attention I would have liked to, the attention the girls certainly got. They got the music played to the belly, the constant moisturising to avoid stretch marks. This neglected little babe needs some lovin’, so I guess that’s one thing I can do.
One thing I have been enjoying is our nightly bath’s though, so not totally neglected. Usually I’m accompanied by at least one other little person, mostly both of them. My advice to you if you want to get to know your kids? Take a bath with them! I have had THE best conversations with the girls over the last few months. I pop my bath crystals in and whack on my Spotify playlist. The girls make potions and perfumes and wash my belly and (lovingly) point out all the weird and wonderful parts of my body. It’s probably been one of my favourite bonding times with them in their whole lives.
Some tips I can recommend on transitioning out of isolation:
This morning after I waved the family off, I’ve done a load of washing, emptied and cleaned the bins, showered my plants (yep, there are a lot of indoor plants so they get a fortnightly shower!) and have done some general tidying. I know my pelvis will hate me if I do anymore, so I’ve opted for the couch and to blog my feelings.
So now? To figure out this ‘new normal’ for the next 7 weeks before it all changes again!
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